I'm Trying, But I Just Can't "Forget"


Our whole lives we’ve been told the ultimate goal is to “forgive and forget.” And while that’s a worthwhile state to strive for, many people get discouraged when they just can’t seem to forget. They feel like they’ve forgiven and no longer feel bitter toward their offender, but they still feel the hurt of that situation.

“Forgive and forget” has created an almost unattainable goal for many people. Thankfully, forgetting the situation is not the ultimate goal. It’s not about erasing our memories. It’s about shifting our focus.

All too often when we have been wronged, we obsess over it. We replay what happened, imagine what our response should have been, picture the offender getting their just rewards. We allow anger, resentment and bitterness to cloud our mind.

What “forgive and forget” is trying to show is is not that we need to forget what happened, but rather that we need to change our focus. We need to let go of our grudge and shift our thoughts to something different. Moving on sometimes has to be a conscious decision.

Does that mean that you will never think about what happened? Of course not! There will be things that trigger the memory throughout your life. But instead of letting it fester, it’s best to quickly move on to other things, and pray for God to remove the thoughts from our mind.

If you’re struggling with the “forget” part of “forgive and forget,” be encouraged that you achieve the freedom of forgiveness through prayer and discipline.