Six Simple Steps On How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You

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Forgiveness, something we all know we need to do but actually forgive someone that hurt us? That is easier said than done.

Though challenging, it is pivotal that no matter the circumstance we forgive the person that caused the harm. It benefits not only the perpetrator but forgiveness also benefits you in several ways.

Just because you have chosen to forgive does not mean the journey will be easy but we have compiled a list of six steps you can take to truly forgive someone who has done you wrong or hurt you in some way.

  1. When it comes to forgiving someone you first need to face what happened head on. Writing things down is a great way to acknowledge what happened, make a list of what you need to forgive and express how you felt when the incident occurred.

  2. Write a letter to the person- don’t send it- but just write it out, telling them how they hurt you, how you felt and acknowledge what you have gained from the relationship as well as telling them you forgive them.  Once you’ve written it, throw it away. This is simply an exercise to work through the emotional pain and hurt you have experienced. Actually sending this would cause much more hardship and make matters much worse.

  3. Remind yourself that the only person you can control is yourself. Ask yourself if your pain is coming from a lack of being able to control the situation. Instead of focusing on what you cannot control, focus on yourself- how can you learn and grow from this situation? What can you learn about yourself?

  4. Sometimes, in order to forgive we have to say it out loud. This doesn’t mean saying it directly to the person who hurt you, although that is encouraged, that is not required in this exercise.  When alone say, “I forgive (insert name here)” out loud as many times as needed. At first, you may find this challenging but over time you will find it easier to and in turn be able to truly forgive them.

  5. Show compassion to  the person who hurt you. While there are situations where the harm they caused is intentional, many times when someone hurts us it is unintentional and they will be apologetic. See the situation from their perspective and instead of wishing them harm, choose to bless them. Show them the kindness you would want to be shown after hurting someone.

  6. Remember that forgiveness takes time and it is not something you will only have to do once. More than likely you will need to forgive someone and need to ask for forgiveness every day. Healing is a process, don’t try to shortcut it. Allow yourself to work through the pain.