Need Help Forgiving Others? Here Are Five Tips
Sometimes, forgiving someone is easy. Perhaps they lied about breaking a family heirloom or forgot to tell you they were working late. While frustrating and annoying these things can be easy to forgive and move on. But what about forgiving someone who has done something many would deem unforgivable, like taking a life? As hard as it may be and as much as you may not want to forgive them it is important that we work towards forgiveness.
If you find yourself in a situation where you are struggling to forgive, we understand. We have compiled five tips that will help you on your journey to forgiving others.
1. Pray.
One of the best ways to work through the anger or hurt you may be feeling and forgive someone is by praying about it. Be honest with God about the emotions you are experiencing and what you are going through. Once you share that with him ask him to help you work through it and ask for His help in forgiving whoever has wronged you. Our God always wants to help, He is just waiting for us to call on Him and ask.
2. Write it out.
Write a letter directed at the person who hurt you. You won’t send this to them but in this letter write down how they hurt you, the pain and emotions you feel. It is important for you to get all the emotions you may be letting build up inside out of your system. It also allows you to regain control of any negative thoughts. It is important not to let these emotions stay bottled up because it prevents us from healing.
3. Remember the action is never personal.
In most occasions where there is hurt, anger and pain it is important to realize that the person who caused those emotions and feelings did not do so intentionally. Often, their actions are direct responses to their own thinking. They are not focused on reality, they are focused on their perception. Instead of focusing on what they did, focus on why they did it. Were they trying to have a need met? Why do you think they went about doing it in such a hurtful way? By looking at the why you could discover a greater issue that needs to be addressed and can lead to healing.
4. Accept what happened.
Think about what occurred, come to terms with it and how the situation made you feel. While you may not want to think about what happened, in order to forgive and move on, it is critical that you accept what happened and the emotions that were a direct result of it.
5. Remember we are human.
That means we are all flawed, we make mistakes. That doesn’t mean actions don’t have consequences and justice shouldn’t be served. It means at some point in our lives we have all caused pain and hurt someone and vice versa. Therefore, just as we deserve to be forgiven, we need to forgive.
